Falling in love (but not back into debt!!)

Wow, I'm really and truly falling for this Guy. But at what stage do I have the PF discussion with him? We're starting to split costs generally and my entertainment budget has gone through the roof. Also, I find myself buying new clothes, taking taxis when we're together (it's just SO unromantic to take the tube!!), getting my eyebrows waxed more frequently... I even bought a new digital camera to take photos of US. Whoa.



This week I slyly introduced the first "free tickets" into a date. It went down well. I mean, I'm a cheap date on the drinking side for sure -- and who doesn't like saving money? And the Guy is an economist so it's not as though he's not clued up to the whole money thing. I feel I can be honest with him and so the money chat will come. I'm a big fan of it being discussed right up there with views about sex and religion. It's a deal-breaker in a relationship for me if a guy is bad with money--I just can't go back there.



So far so good with the Guy. And tonight we went dancing and my shoes and new dress looked fabulous! Photos recorded on my new digital camera. Oh my! I'm having fun, though and it's not as though I am not paying my bills--I'm just less aggressive in my repayments. I'm sure once I tell him about my plight against my student loans he'll be on the case and supportive. Because he's just a wonderful person. Insert awwwwww...

The economics of dating

So somehow when Miss Savings not Shoes has spent a month dating -- last night was date 9 -- my whole obsession with savings has gone--poof--out the window. Yesterday, being payday and my usual favorite day of the month--I didn't even calculate my networth as I was too excited knowing that I'd be seeing the Guy and meeting his friends at a birthday drinks in the evening.

I've become a lot less strict with my budget and that's something that I will attempt to reign in. There's my birthday and Christmas coming up and a large part of being a couple in London it seems is traveling out of London. We've begun the tiny early stages of planning that we'd maybe someday go on a holiday together. Maybe.

This is not normal stuff for me -- I've been single for 4 years with a month of dating here and there. I feel like meeting the Guy is a reward for changing my life around. It's also got me thinking naturally that perhaps there is a chance that one day I'll be officially coupled off with a ring on it and share finances with a man--gasp!

However, something that is really important to me is to be debt free by the time I join finances with someone else. I'm not saying that the Guy is THE Guy, but in anticipation for my finances one day being merged with another's, I'd like to not bring my financial baggage into the union. I think it's okay to not bring any assets but I very much feel that my debt is my responsibility.

With that, I'm off to go dancing with my girlfriends and leave my worries of joint finances for the distant future. Happy Halloweeeeeeen!

more busy, less money

That was a large lapse in writing -- I must say life has been hectic and with dating but great and all there’s been less time in my life for thinking about money.
That doesn’t mean that I haven’t of course, I just haven’t written. And now having had date 8 with 9 on the horizon for the Patriot's Game on Sunday, I’ve thought a lot about dating and money starting with the night of my last entry when he expected me to pick up dinner, as he’d gotten the first date’s dinner. I was not impressed. Since then he’s been the main benefactor of our excursions until last night when I offered to pay half of dinner and he agreed. I’ve given him a ticket to the NFL game on Sunday though which was £70 and haven’t asked for any money in exchange. Perhaps he’ll buy me a game jersey??
So, just wanted to check in and say that all is well and happening—and I’ve spent downtime in the office planning my (30th!!!) birthday party. It’s another money hassle as I need to pay the cash up front and have people reimburse me. I think it’s difficult to know when to ask people to pay you back when you’re the one who has chosen the entertainment and invited the guests. I've been doing many cultural and fun activities lately--I LOVE the autumn in London, it's my fave. Theatre, sporting events, dinners, cinema...and I've had to have some couch surfers to supplement my more extravagant life-style. It seems to be balancing out.

Date number 2--Tonight!

The date is on and Guy left me a message last night saying that he had booked a table at a restaurant/bar in my neighbourhood for 8pm but was open to other ideas such as going to the climbing wall.


Coincidentally, I'd been saying to a girlfriend on the phone that I thought that Guy and I were ready for an "activity date" after having met in a group party situation once and a dinner-date another time. He knows I can scrub up well and instead of just talking about all the interesting things we each do in our spare time, I say why not go and do something together?

I haven't been to the climbing wall in ages -- I tended to go with an ex of mine -- so I'm a little nervous about my skills. However, it means less date prep (ponytail, work out gear...) but also some stress. I think I'm comfortable enough with him now to wear sports gear around him and possibly make some mistakes. Supposedly, it can bring out the best (trust) or worst (competitiveness) in a couple according to an Arizona rock gym owner. I found another dating website that recommended indoor climbing as a top "second date idea", so I feel blessed by the powers that be on the Internet (is it really necessary for me to look everything up, I wonder?)

Plus, I was planning on getting a membership at the climbing wall anyway and this would eliminate any £ issues. And there's a cheap thai restaurant/pub across the road, so perhaps I'll take him up on the offer to cancel the dinner and try the activity date!

I'm surprisingly not that nervous--more excited! Alright, I need to go get to finding some work out clothes that don't have holes in them or sweatstains!

No longer a FICO deadbeat?

I've currently given up on the American House dream but I am still subscribed to this FICO score updater thing that I've been paying $9.99/month for (bad girl!) and was just hit with again. Yes I'm going to cancel it, but I figured I might as well give it one more go. What can I say--I love progress in any form, plus it's such a mystical number.

Drumroll...FICO scores for October 2009:

Experian 661
Equifax 634
TransUnion 640

In my "positives" section, they state that I've paid my bills on time and in full for the past 12 months consecutively. A sign that my deadbeat days are a part of my past, not my current situation.

With one score over 650 I feel practically prime instead of sub.

Take a peek at my history since starting the blog:

August 2009: Equifax 625 Experian 640 TransUnion 638
May 2009: Equifax 623 Experian 629 TransUnion 562
July 2008: Equifax 546 Experian 545 TransUnion 543
May 2008: Equifax: 544 Experian: 537 TransUnion: 523

Update on extra income/snowflakes-- renting spare space

I don't have a lot of time to have a second job and legally, I cannot have another employer so the only other employer I can have is lil' ol' me.

The cash
In my assessment of how I fabulous my flat (or rather its location) is, it evolved that I'm now taking bookings via a website for people to crash on my futon and sometimes, if a couple, usurp me from my bedroom and land me on the futon. It's a small space to share--a 1-bedroom apartment. But the demand has been high and since I first experimented in July, I've increased the "rent" from $25 to $45 per night. That goes up to $75 a night if I'm kicked onto the couch. The upside is the cash, of course and the people that I meet.

Being a live-in landlady
The downsides are hitting me pretty hard this morning as I am now doing two full sets of towels and sheets (have you seen the size of British washing machines! and no dryer!!). I found myself scrubbing my shower at 7am on a Saturday awaiting a fellow Yank's arrival from Heathrow at 8.30.

There's also the fact that now that I'm working all week, I like my alone time in the flat. As there is no way for privacy really for either me or my few Futon Friend, it can be a bit frustrating.

However, the good sides way outweigh the bad. I'm much more grateful for the time I have alone and I think I can always use practice in co-habitation. It's much more strange for the people staying at this point, because I'm quite used to it (on guest #6 this weekend). I definitely do not have aspirations to be in the B&B business in my future, though.

Keep it clean
Another HUGE plus is that I keep my place much much cleaner than if I was totally left to my own standards (which are low). This is a big reason I do it, actually. I know I should be able to keep my home clean for me and my self-esteem, but I'm just not there yet. It's a big incentive. As someone who has always had a cleaner in my adult life until living alone, it's major. And I know that I clean as well or even better than a "professional" would--albeit slower. So I save on the cost of having a cleaner as I have a feeling I'd break down and get one again if I didn't stay motivated with having people stay. Also having futon friends forced me to get wireless internet and a cheap US phone plan, so I can offer that as a bonus.

Bottom line
It's worth it. In September I made $400. That seems about right. I'm definitely not going to fight to keep the place booked, I love my solo time. And every time a "friend" leaves, I'm grateful to have the place back to myself and the knowledge that I don't rely on the money and can stop if it becomes too much of a hassle or until I come up with better money making schemes. Plus, it really is something that works right now due to the particular situation I'm in life-wise. A financial benefit of being single--horray!

Tips for beauty on a budget

Now that I'm back at work and also dating and generally trying to look nice, I was thinking that I'd list some of the things I do to stay looking pretty and professional.

1- Hair. I long ago decided that one of my financial sacrifices would be hair, but learned that it is one area that I cannot Do It Myself. So, I get my hair done 3 times a year by trainees. Yes, it takes a long time and I'm sure that I'd look amazing with a £200 haircut but I can't have it all. I use cheap shampoo and conditioner and rely on product that I've already purchased over my many years as a consumer. Recent photo attached!

2. Nails-- a good bottle of Essie nail polish in Mademoiselle has kept me in good stead. I have notoriously bad feet with gross very hardened heels.

I go through fazes of doing my toe nails. I have all of the stuff--and refuse to buy more except my bottle of Essie each year.

3. Skin-- I get a few facials a year--I really like them and take it out of my entertainment budget. The rest of the time I do old school Neutrogena Oil Free acne wash (the orange one) and a cream after. During the day it's all about the moustorizer with SPF as my base.

4. Clothes-

I shop at Charity shops for clothes and make my outfits more fashionable by adding FANTASTIC shoes and accessories. Mixing cheap items with expensive ones is key. However, it is difficult building up a base of nice things. I've had some nice hand-me-downs from friends, too.

5. Make up.

Makeup is the glue that holds me together. This is another mixing and matching of cheap and pricey and an area where I ask people to get me gifts. I've also been given friend's unwanted make up. I know that there's a lot written about make up going off, I personally haven't experienced this. What I do is WASH my makeup brushes regularly. And I got this tip from a famous make-up artist: Wash them in anti-bacterial dish soap. I just have a set of brushes from Target and they aren't real hair, but they serve me well (a Xmas present). I get a "make-over" once a year at the Bobbi Brown counter and spend £40 ($60) on a few new items. Usually around Christmas. And I try not to buy make up between unless it's a bit of cheapie fun stuff. I think this year I may convert to Bare Minerals since that seems to be the way of the future.